Thursday, 1 September 2016

Dear September

Dear September,

I've been jokingly singing 'wake me up, when September ends' for the past few months, but you're here now so I guess it's time to start waking up from the blur in which this summer has been.

It's all about looking forward now. 2 weeks tomorrow, and I'll be leaving my job. I'll be back on stage performing, and the following week sees me go back to University. It's all changing.

Change for me, is usually a brilliant thing. Being stuck in a rigid routine is too close to home for me now, and although sometimes terrifying, change accommodates new opportunities and room for growth. It's exciting, unnerving and scary all at once - but it's only in those moments do you find out who you are and/or who you want to be.

I'm now a firm believer in acknowledging the good in a terrible situation, even if it takes me a while. I've gained self awareness, realised what is worth fighting for, acknowledged that egocentricity is definitely not attractive, and confirmed that myself and boredom do not go hand in hand. Self reflection is seldom a bad thing.

I'm taking a huge risk by going back to Uni. I don't really know what I'm letting myself in for; whether I'm capable of what a masters entails, or whether I'm prepared for the demanding work load that will be required for the next two years and perhaps the rest of my life. But I do know that as long as I'm helping other people, I'll feel fulfilled.

'I didn't do this to get a front row seat to other peoples tragedies, I did it because I knew the world was bleeding and so was I, and somewhere inside, I knew that the only way to stop my own bleeding was to learn how to stop someone else's. '

Samantha x

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