Wednesday, 9 December 2015

You're extraordinary but..

You're extraordinary but you're at risk of becoming ordinary.

I haven't done a post like this in ages but I am sat here writing away after work, because sometimes it's needed. Sometimes it's nice to just forget photos and content and remember why I really have this space on the internet.

Those words in bold, were spoken to me by my best friend last week. She meant well, but actually they're pretty f*cking harsh and they've haunted me ever since. I think they're haunting me because I don't ever want to be ordinary. Being ordinary to me means being average, and that's not something I want to be at all.

I'm not actually sure what I want any more. I currently work in a really badly paid job, crap hours and no social life BUT it's ok because it's just a stepping stone. My dream has always been clinical psychology, but when people doubt you, it's difficult to trust yourself and your instinct. When you're told you're too good to be doing what you're doing, it's difficult to want to do it.

What's your plan B? What will you do when you return from Sri Lanka? What if you don't get accepted for clinical psych?

I don't know.

In fact, I'm that unsure so I've applied for something else as a back up. Thing is, if I go down this other route, have I given up on a dream before I've even started? I don't know if I'm just applying because I feel pressured to or whether there is something inside my head telling me that it might be a good idea. I don't want to do something else and then regret giving up on what I actually wanted to do in the first place, resenting those who told me I should have a back up plan. But then, what if it turned out to be the best thing I ever do?

I think Sri Lanka has come at the perfect time really. It's a chance to go away and think about what I want. Not what everyone else thinks I should do, but what will make me happy. Because that's what matters, right?

1 comment

Unknown said...

It's all about being happy and stable! Not knowing what the future holds can be the most scary thing ever, but trust that what's meant to be, will be. You'll end up exactly where you were always meant to! I'm in the final year of my law degree and can feel all my hopes and dreams of qualifying as a solicitor fading away, but other aspects of my life have kept me going. Everything will be okay!xx

Laura | Lala London: Beauty & Lifestyle

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