Sunday, 4 January 2015

Wholeness


I think it is widely accepted in today's society, that people are always searching for new ways to be happy. Whether it be The Happiness Project, 100 Happy Days, 5 Things That Make Me Happy or any other variation, are all attempts at reminding yourself that you have something to be happy about or are used as a way of cheering yourself up. Now, as much as I (and all of us perhaps?) dislike being upset, sad, depressed, in pain etc, I don't think that as humans we are entitled to feel happy at all times. Nor do I think that aiming for 100% happiness is a particularly good idea, in fact I believe it can be quite dangerous - humans are beginning to fear being unhappy.

We are being taught that the concept of happiness is always achievable, yet what happens when you aren't happy? Well, some believe they are failures, incapable of constructing this perfect, happy life but in reality, it does not exist. Things do go wrong in life - we lose a loved one, fail an exam, over sleep and are consequently late for work - no matter how trivial, life isn't always full of roses. Expectations have become so high, that when they aren't achieved, individuals spiral into this world of self destruction, where happiness is now even further out of reach.

I read something recently, and was reminded that wholeness is what we should be aiming for. The notion that life should include both happiness and sadness. We need to experience pain, for during these times, we grow the most. We learn about ourselves and develop coping mechanisms, which ultimately help us cope during future sadness. We also need to experience pain so that we appreciate happiness! If we were happy all of the time, I doubt whether we would be good people. We would have no feelings of empathy or gratitude, which in my opinion, make for very self-obsessed human beings. I also question whether we'd recognise what happiness actually was? 

So instead of striving for the unachievable, next time you are feeling unhappy, remember that this is much more likely to make a better contribution to you as a whole human being. After all, it is ok to not be ok

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11 comments

Emma said...

Very true and a lovely balance to all the happiness focused self help literature out there :) It is the ability to be flexible and create meaning in the difficult times, which helps us to live whole, creative lives. Love it! x

Josie's Journal said...

Wise words Sam! It's perfectly normal to be sad sometimes, but I think we should aim to be happy most of the time if you get what I mean. So to not get sad about stupid things like a broken mug or a late bus haha! x

Josie’s Journal

JasminCharlotte said...

I totally agree with this and it is a huge part of my own personal philosophy! It hit me a few years ago when I was just starting to get into running, and I went out and had a terrible run, and I was like what?! I thought I was meant to get better and better, so I talked to one of my friends and she said, well if you don't have those bad runs then how will you know when you have a good run? And it is so true about running and life, you need the balance! x

Jasmin Charlotte | UK Lifestyle Blog

Abi Street said...

Really enjoyed reading this, and what you said is so true!! It's not natural to be constantly happy all the time, everyone needs ups and downs to learn and grow!! Just followed :) xx


Abi | abistreetx.blogspot.co.uk

Sam said...

Aw thank you! x

Sam said...

I'm glad you agree - we definitely need the bad in order to appreciate the good x

Sam said...

Hahaha yeah, I agree about not having a meltdown over trivial things ;) x

Sam said...

Thank you, Emma! x

Candice Petersen said...

Lovely post!! I don't make any new year resolutions because I never stick to them..

Candice | Beauty Candy Loves

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Sam said...

Haha there is also that ;) xx

Gemma Davison said...

I so agree with you. When I was at the worst of my depression, I felt guilty for so long for not being happy with the life that I have. It took me so long to realise that is ok not to be happy and that it wasnt my fault. I had to accept that sadness and feel it so I could move on, instead of forcing myself to try and be happy.
Great post Sam :)

Gems x

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