Wednesday, 28 January 2015

Pressure


Yesterday was one of those days, in which it's 5pm before you've even remembered to sit down because you are just so busy. It was a day consumed with meetings, testing participants, planning presentations, lectures.. I was the headless chicken running around campus! It was also a day in which we were given some results back for last semester; a day I always dread. 

Fortunately, I did well. Really well. In fact, I almost cried with relief because I was completely overwhelmed by it but then I realised I was so overwhelmed because of the amount of pressure I put on myself to succeed. I tried my best, I worked my arse off ridiculously hard, and in this instance, my best was good enough. But what if it wasn't? You always hear 'as long as you did your best, that's all that matters'. Well, actually sometimes it's not. Sometimes your best doesn't get the result you want, the job you applied for, the finish line of the marathon you trained for.. and as a woman in the 21st century, I don't feel equipped to cope with my best not actually being good enough. 

Previously, my only way of coping was to compare. As long as I did better than everyone else, well it's marginally better? But to be honest, I don't even get any satisfaction out of that any more. So what if I did better than someone else? It has absolutely NO impact on my result. What other people do or don't do has no reflection on my life, so what is the point?

I know I'm not alone in the fact that when I don't reach my own standards/expectations, I beat myself up. You're rubbish, a let down, you should have worked harder, done this, that or the other.. are probably words that you are or have been familiar with. But before we go into this whole beat ourselves up until we feel awful and miserable, and want to curl up into a ball and do nothing but hibernate and eat chocolate state, I want to know if you'd be telling your child, sister, best friend that they should have worked harder and longer, that they are no good, a let down, a failure.. ?

Chances are you wouldn't dream of it. You'd probably yell at them for being so hard on themselves,. Yet why is it OK to beat ourselves up?

I think the answer is, it's not. We are the only person we are with 24/7 - we have to be with our own company ALL of the time, so really, we should learn to like and get along with ourselves, compliment ourselves and be kind to ourselves. It is after all, the most important relationship you'll ever have. Otherwise, it's a hell of a long time being miserable, isn't it? We live in a world where self criticism is more socially accepted, and to stand up and say I like myself is actually quite rare. But to me, that's really sad.

I'm not sure where I'm really going with this, but I think what yesterday taught me was that sometimes your best isn't enough, but that doesn't mean it's acceptable to beat yourself up. And when it is enough, it's perfectly acceptable to be proud of yourself, dance all the way home and parade around your house with a beaming smile on your face. A little self care never hurt anyone.

So ease up on the pressure Samantha, you're doing ok..


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18 comments

Candice Petersen said...

I am probably be biggest critic! Thanks for a great post and food for though..

Candice | Beauty Candy Loves

♥♥♥

Ellie Adams said...

Girl, this is the most well articulated post I have read in such a long time. Totally agree with everything here, I am my own worst critic too... far worse than anyone else could be of me. 2015 is the year I attempt to take it easier on myself. PS congrats on the results lovely :)


Elle
www.theellenextdoor.com
xx

Sam said...

Thank you so much for your lovely words! I definitely think you should take it easier on yourself, let's face it - I bet you wouldn't take sh*t from anyone else, so why yourself? xx

Sam said...

Thank you lovely! x

Tanya Beetham said...

Wonderfully written my friend - Self-care is an ethical point for me, and I am often reminded of it too. Why do I prioritise all the other ethical issues and place self-care at the very bottom? The message to take home is that who we are matters, and how we are matters.
Well done, by the way - your hard work pays off xx

Sam said...

Thank you Tanya, this is a really lovely comment to come home to xx

helen at thelovecatsinc said...

this is such a lovely post! i really need to learn to love myself a bit more, i'm very self critical!


from helen at thelovecatsinc.com

Abi Street said...

This is an amazing post, everything you said is so true! We do live in a world where everyone beats themselves up! Everyone needs to give themselves a compliment once in a while xx

Abi | abistreetx.blogspot.co.uk - Don't forget to enter my giveaway!

Eleanor Weyman said...

I put so much pressure on myself with university work! I really need to learn not to do that though as it actually prevents me from working as I simply become far too daunted to even begin!

Elesaurus | elesaurusrawr.blogspot.com
Youtube - Eleanor Rose

Sam said...

You're so right! xx

Sam said...

Thank you - that's such a shame because if your blog is anything to go by, I imagine you are an incredibly hard working woman xx

Sam said...

I know same! I just start stressing as soon as I work and it probably makes it worse xx

Hannah Boxall said...

love everything you've said, well put! xx

Hannah | Heyitshannaah

Sam said...

Thank you! xx

Lizzie said...

Loved this post, everything you said is SO true!

http://lux-rose.blogspot.co.uk/

Sam said...

Thank you so much! x

TheStyleRawr said...

This. Jennie May said something similar in her blog post from today and I'm going to practice this and be kinder to myself!


Tara x

Sam said...

Good for you! xx

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