Monday, 1 September 2014

Acceptance

"I think that many do want to be helped, but they have too much stacked against them and also don't know how to accept help. Being cared for is alien to some people"
- The Skeleton Cupboard by Tanya Byron

I actually had a lot of free time during my weekday evenings in Thailand. What with no wifi or anywhere to really go, I turned to books as my primary source of entertainment - 10 books in fact! However, one in which I managed to read in about a day, was The Skeleton Cupboard written by Tanya Byron. The book is about the experiences she endured whilst training to be a clinical psychologist in the 90's. This book really struck a chord in me for a number of various reasons. Firstly, the only career I wish to pursue is that of a clinical psychologist, and this book has 100% confirmed that. Secondly, and perhaps most importantly, I really was intrigued by her words surrounding loneliness and accepting help. 

Half way through my 6 week adventure, I was surprised by how I had actually become homesick. It's something I've never experienced before, and something in which I didn't think I would have to experience. With living away at University, and being quite content with my own company, I considered myself to be quite independent and satisfied with that. However, after reading this book, I actually realised that I'd distanced myself from almost everyone as a way of coping. It was a way of protecting myself as I begun to recover from a mental illness, so that I didn't get hurt. Also, as I didn't receive treatment, I never really learnt how to accept help and nor did I allow people to care for me. Sure, I have a great set of friends and family, but I never really allowed them to access what was really going on - if they got too close, I'd push them back.

In Thailand, I was cared for. I had the most amazing host Mum who did everything for me. She cooked, she took me to see things and resolved any of the problems that I might have had. She was in control and I accepted this from day one. I took a risk and it was the best decision I ever made because consequently, I learned how to accept help and care, and I actually liked it. I am now looking back on how isolated I forced myself to be, and that it wasn't that great at all. In fact, it could get quite lonely at times and I don't want my life to be like that any more. 

So guess what? It won't be. 
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2 comments

Sarah Leanne said...

Proud. Oh so proud <3

Josie said...

I'm glad your host mum was so lovely! It can be hard opening up and letting people get close but it's worth it because the people who love you want to be there for you and help you...you don't have to go through things alone :) you know I'm always a text/email away too x

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