Saturday, 23 August 2014

730 days

2 years ago today, I was diagnosed with Anorexia. That's 730 days I've spent trying to overcome this bitch of an illness. Gaining weight, losing weight, restricting, eating more, socialising and learning to live again..

It's only now that I can say, 730 days later, that I'm beginning to blossom. These past 5 weeks of my life have been perhaps the most life changing few weeks I have ever had. I have started to learn now to listen to my body. Listen when it's crying out for food and stop when I'm satisfied. Whether it be early morning or late afternoon, and learning that no day is the same. I've learnt that it's OK to be hungrier one day, and less hungry on another. That I don't have finish my plate for fear of others thinking that I'm slipping backwards, and that if I want pudding then that's OK too. And also, that it's OK to be hungry when others are not. There is no point in comparing or becoming jealous. Everybody is different after all.

I have learnt that I don't have to miss out if I don't want something. I've been living without this illness in Thailand, I have felt the freedom for 5 weeks. I've no idea what I weight but ultimately, it doesn't matter to me because I feel free. I'd be lying if I said that I have doubts about returning to the UK but I have the tools now to continue with this life. I have done it here so I know I have the ability to apply the same principles at home.

Life isn't about food. It's about experience, friendship, family and happiness. And so, this blog may change a little from now on. I hope to not talk about anorexia any more, because I don't want to have anything to talk about. I'll just be talking about my life, and you know what? I'm quite proud of myself.


Tanya Beetham said...

And I cannot help but feel proud also when I read this post. With freedom comes empowerment - and I do believe that you can take that with you where ever you go; another trip somewhere else, back home, to uni, out with friends.. where ever you go you can carry this freedom with you :)

Sarah Robertson said...

I bloody love you and can't wait for burgers and fries at the Bear on your return. You WILL copy in the UK, because like you said - YOU HAVE THE TOOLS.Lots of love xx

Unknown said...

This is lovely to hear Sam! I knew Thailand would be life changing and I'm so glad it's been so positive for you! I can't wait to finally meet sometime this year and hear all about it! You should be damn proud of yourself :) xxx

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