Sunday, 27 April 2014

Moving Forward

It seems that my busy life and constant attempts at challenging myself, without numbers or scales, has caught up with me. Whilst I've been out living for the past 10 months, I have actually been undoing some of my hard work.

I think maybe I've been in denial for quite a while that I am fine, that I am OK here and can manage. It's only because of recent conversations with others that have made me question what I am doing and where I'm actually going with my recovery. I don't want to be sat here in 10 years still typing away about how I'm still trapped. These past 10 months where I thought that I have been at a stand still, have actually been me slowly falling backwards.

I should give myself some credit - I have enjoyed social events, eaten out with friends (especially cake), worked, volunteered, made huge life decisions such as Thailand, and stopped being a hermit (ha!). Ultimately, I've enjoyed every single one of these occasions. I've seen glimpses into what a real recovered lifestyle is and I want that permanently now. So, I am now actually pushing myself forwards again so that my life can involve more of that.

I know it's so much easier said that done but one thing I do know - I shall never give up.

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2 comments

hannah said...

I'm sorry to hear you feel like you've been struggling lovely, but I'm glad you've noticed it and admitted it and you're actively trying to move forwards again. I know you can do it, you're so determined and you've come so far already :) xxx

Amy-Louise said...

Well done for admitting and coming to terms with the fact that you've been struggling, it means you're one step further along the road already, and you've done it before - nothing is impossible, I promise <3

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