Tuesday, 1 October 2013


So much has happened in such a short space of time, in my opinion. I have lived in my new house with new people for just over a week now and already, we’ve faced highs and lows, which is only inevitable really as it’s a big change for us all.
The biggest challenge for me, has been listening to the conversations surrounding food, gyms and weight. The constant obsession with working out or eating healthily, using scales or measuring hips. Is that what normal is, in today’s society? Because if it is, then that attitude to food and our body image in general, is just as disordered as someone with an eating disorder.
As someone who is recovering from an eating disorder, I honestly find it extremely triggering. It’s so difficult to stop certain behaviors  when other ‘normal’ people are practicing them every day. I begin to question whether I SHOULD be doing this too. Logically, I know that I can’t but it’s almost as if I’m jealous of  the fact I can’t go on a diet, or to the gym or cut out carbs (the list goes on).
I’m also jealous of the fact that these women can go on diets and to the gym, and still ‘fail’ at their diets when they see a mars bar. As much as I worry that everyone will develop an eating disorder, I’m envious of the fact that they won’t. Why is it that they can stop so easily, yet I (and some others) develop full blown eating disorders? Almost as if I can’t even go on a stupid diet properly.
But then I do question the happiness of society. The diet industry is one of the most miserable places that I can think of.
Surely, we should be encouraging positive body image, healthy eating and moderate exercise? I have made a very good friend this week, who is seriously helping and encouraging me with this but it’s still very difficult when you are a) battling the attitudes around you and b) your own mind.


Tanya Beetham said...

Very well summarized - battling the attitudes around you and battling your own mind, it sure does make us question what's actually normal. Well, what's normal anyway?? But moreover it has reached a point where we feel guilty or abnormal for attempting to get rid of the thoughts that so many others consider to be a way of life now. And perhaps it IS their way of life? Just one that switches off when they are able to get take out and drink beer and eat mars bars...

hannah said...

You can do it Samantha, you have to stay strong and let your friends support you :) I'm really glad one of your new friends is helping you in that way. I can't imagine how hard it must be with everyone around you constantly talking about things that you don't need to hear, and I honestly don't think it's 'normal' behaviour either. I don't know when everyone got so conscious - I have to say my sister has become obsessed with exercising and posting pictures of her progress and having sun beds (despite everyone's advice against it!). Is anyone/everyone in the house aware that you're recovering from an eating disorder? I think you just have to try to block out what they're saying, maybe when they get into conversations about these things you could busy yourself doing something else, or maybe if you don't respond when they say these things they might stop saying them to you. I hope you find a way to cope that works for you :) xxx

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