Thursday, 4 July 2013

First year results

Last night, whilst procrastinating on twitter I saw my personal tutor announcing the release of the 1st/2nd year's results. As I was reading, I quickly booted up my laptop to take a look and was beyond happy with my results. A 1st in every module, giving me an overall 1st with 80%.  I am not writing this post to blow my own trumpet or to be congratulated as such, more as a marker and to reflect on how I have managed to even pass the year, let alone achieve well. I know it doesn't mean anything but it definitely provides me with a good foundation to build on, in the next 2 years.
I never imagined to have done so well this year. I came to Uni barely eating, barely being able to concentrate. I had just declined the offer of treatment, thinking I could do this alone. It may have been the hardest decision I've EVER had to take, and perhaps a stupid one to some, but it is single handedly the best risk I've taken. There was no way that I was going to let a mental illness stop me from living my life and achieving what I want. 
On reflection, perhaps part of this illness were on my side. The stubbornness and perfectionist nature of this eating disorder has meant that I will only produce a piece of work to a standard that is acceptable for me. Arguably, I push myself too hard but when I get results to reflect the work, then that mental torture seems irrelevant and almost worth it. 
But actually, I want to read this post in years to come and remember that even though I was living with a mental illness, I didn't stop living. It doesn't mean I can't do what I want to do, and it shouldn't mean that anyone else has to put their life on hold either.
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2 comments

Sophie Lowe said...

Wowee! Congratulations lovey! Fantastic news!!

SOPHisticatexx

Tanya Beetham said...

your average is incredible - well done you xx

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