Thursday, 4 July 2013

First year results

Last night, whilst procrastinating on twitter I saw my personal tutor announcing the release of the 1st/2nd year's results. As I was reading, I quickly booted up my laptop to take a look and was beyond happy with my results. A 1st in every module, giving me an overall 1st with 80%.  I am not writing this post to blow my own trumpet or to be congratulated as such, more as a marker and to reflect on how I have managed to even pass the year, let alone achieve well. I know it doesn't mean anything but it definitely provides me with a good foundation to build on, in the next 2 years.
I never imagined to have done so well this year. I came to Uni barely eating, barely being able to concentrate. I had just declined the offer of treatment, thinking I could do this alone. It may have been the hardest decision I've EVER had to take, and perhaps a stupid one to some, but it is single handedly the best risk I've taken. There was no way that I was going to let a mental illness stop me from living my life and achieving what I want. 
On reflection, perhaps part of this illness were on my side. The stubbornness and perfectionist nature of this eating disorder has meant that I will only produce a piece of work to a standard that is acceptable for me. Arguably, I push myself too hard but when I get results to reflect the work, then that mental torture seems irrelevant and almost worth it. 
But actually, I want to read this post in years to come and remember that even though I was living with a mental illness, I didn't stop living. It doesn't mean I can't do what I want to do, and it shouldn't mean that anyone else has to put their life on hold either.


Unknown said...

Wowee! Congratulations lovey! Fantastic news!!


Tanya Beetham said...

your average is incredible - well done you xx

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