Monday, 8 July 2013

Are you really happy?

For a very, very long time, I have associated happiness with being thin. I know I'm not the only one, many women (and men) believe that once they reach a certain weight or size, that all their other problems naturally just disappear and you are happy. Wrong.
I think I'd be lying to say I've actually believed this notion, more that I've tried to convince myself that by being and looking a certain way, I'm happy. It's not until I've stopped focusing on a certain number so much, that I'm actually beginning to BELIEVE that happiness doesn't come in any number, shape or size. 
I've been put on medication for 10 days, which effectively temporarily alter your mood in order to make you well. As a result, I do feel a bit rubbish but how is getting on the scales going to make me feel any better? It might for 2 minutes if I'm a few pounds lighter, but that 'happiness' is only masking other emotions.
It's not only numbers though, I am beginning to see that I am in control of my happiness. I asked 3 people for advice last night, and 1 of those responded with 'what do you think?'. A typical therapist response but maybe the one that I needed. She's right - what does it actually matter what she thinks if I don't agree? AND if she is deciding for me, then I'm giving someone else the responsibility of controlling my happiness. 
So, what should bring us happiness?
Watching re-runs of the Inbetweeners with your brother until the early hours of the morning? Treating yourself to your favourite designer perfume because it reminds you of when you sang to hundreds, in front of the Eiffel tower? Indulging in sweet treats and cocktails with your best friend, whilst putting the world to rights?
Those are the things that are more likely to put a smile on my face, and those things are definitely more important than a behaviour designed to feed a mental illness and only cause anxiety. We only have once chance at a happy life, so less wasting and more laughing.


Josie said...

I could not agree more with that last sentence!

I forgot to congratulate you on your first year results, you did so amazingly well! So proud of you! xxx

Unknown said...

Hey! I've been peeking over your blog as someone recommended it to me via UK bloggers. I'm recovering from (/struggling with) an eating disorder, and have found your posts really inspirational. Am really glad I've found your blog to be honest, as I know no-one who has gone through anything similar, and don't feel like this is something I can share with my family, so it's v.nice to see so much I relate to in one place for once.
Great blog & congrats on first year! Year 2 isn't too terrifying ;) Haha.
- Nin
Twitter - @notoriouseld

Tanya Beetham said...

Sam, I am so pleased you are following your happiness x

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