Monday, 24 June 2013

Swimming

Since returning from Spain, I have done nothing but work, run a house and think. I think I am beginning to question what I am doing in regards to me own recovery and whether I'm actually progressing towards what I thought was a finish line. 
At the moment I am experiencing life again, enjoying new things and relearning who I am and what I love. I guess it's rediscovering everything I stopped when fully consumed by this illness. I am proud to be able to say that I am no longer in that place but it still frustrates me when I know that I am not where I want to be. Every time something new or challenging comes along, I dip my toe into the water and then come out instead of fully embracing what the water has to offer. 
I need to stop running away from what life has to fully offer me. Instead of wasting my energy thinking of reasons and excuses, I need to jump in and surround myself with the glistening, refreshing water and swim. Because until I do, I will only continue to miss out on life.
Today, I am making a start and getting into the water at least. For too long I have weighed myself every single week, but as of today, this is being reduced. It may causes problems but instead of getting out of the water, I have to start swimming. Ignorance is bliss so they say, and I know that not knowing some insignificant numbers will eventually feel liberating and not stressful.
I don't think there is a finish line any more because once I reach that line, I don't want to stop swimming. I want to keep swimming and never look back.
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1 comment

Tanya Beetham said...

Here's to swimming together.. x

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