Monday, 8 April 2013


When a mental illness is forced upon a family, I think it's only natural for every individual to react differently. Some are ashamed whilst some eager to learn more about the illness. There is no right or wrong way to react but I think supporting the suffering individual is vital. 
The more time I spend with my Dad alone, the more I am learning that my family very much sweeps anything to do with mental illness, under the carpet. Almost as if they don't exist. My Mum has a mental illness, of which is never spoken about. My Dad has one in which he has told me a lot about now, since I am studying a psychology degree.. and I have one. One in which I never speak to my Mum about and no one else in my family knows (although, if they haven't guessed by now, they must be stupid!).
I spent the evening with my Dad last night, and he told me how he is treated within the family. His Mother has never been involved and only worries about those with physical illnesses. And you know, I am deeply saddened to think he has spent the last 20 years suffering alone with hardly any support at all. 
But then, I am doing the same thing? Not once has my Mum asked me how I am since I've been home. In fact, I've just been bombarded with food. Now, I am not saying that fish + chips on Friday, followed by domino's Saturday is wrong, because I'm not. In fact, there have been days in which I've more than welcomed it! Everyday of the week would have been lovely because let's face it - they're bloody amazing. But for a recovering anorexic, it's never going to happen. If I'm going to give my body something, I want something full of nutrients.  Something that will attempt to repair the damage I've done!
And then, 5 easter eggs?! 1 would have been fine! I know she's trying to include me but I don't think I've ever been this anxious. I desperately want to go back to Uni and I have no idea how I'm going to last when moving back home, because I really am spending every waking moment in my room alone.

1 comment

Tanya Beetham said...

I shall always, always believe that families are odd systems of beings. all so different. Perhaps there's a way of you going back to Uni earlier if you wanted to?

Copyright © What I Know Now. Blog Design by