Saturday, 30 March 2013


So, as most of you will know, this week I embarked on a journey to London to meet the fabulous Amy. Someone who has inspired, comforted and been there for me in my darkest hour. We met at Euston, and from that point we never stopped. From Camden to Covent garden, then to watch Matilda the Musical followed by a beautiful evening by the London Eye and River Thames. Our second day was filled with a trip down the entire of Oxford St. creating huge dents in our bank balances, and dinner out in Amy's local pub. 
Unfortunately, the whole thing was over way too quickly, and my train was cancelled which meant an anxiety provoking end for us both, but my goodness, it was so worth it!
The show was absolutely amazing and it was so nice to feel 'at home'. As a performer, I have been stripped of the energy to carry on with my passion, but sharing the experience with Amy has reminded me that I can do that again. And I will. It was also fantastic to treat ourselves (and each other) - I think two MAC Lipsticks each was definitely a good move ;)

Originally, I was terrified of being out of my comfort zone. Going away means eating out. It means being normal, which to someone who is driven by safe rules and routines, it's petrifying. But you know what, food was put back in it's place this week. It was fuel for walking miles, it was a past time for conversation with someone amazing AND it was a treat - something in which I had forgotten about.
I am also quite proud of myself and believe this was a very important step on the road towards recovery. Not only in regards to food, but life itself. Having a train cancelled for me, is my worst nightmare. I get so anxious on trains anyway and have to know exactly what I'm doing and where I'm going, well in advanced. Sudden change causes panic! However, I am so glad it happened. I recently read that fear is life's biggest enemy and it really is. It's the only thing in our way. I have seen a lot of the country over the past few days (as I also had to get back to Uni, to work today), but it meant stepping up and taking some responsibility.

And finally, when you read this Amy, thank you. Thank you for the best two days I've had for a long time. I really will never forget it.

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