Monday, 31 December 2012

Goodbye 2012!

I don't even know how I'd describe this year. It is home to, without a doubt, the worst days of my life and as a result, I was diagnosed with an eating disorder. For this alone, it is one reason why 2012 will be completely unforgettable. 
However, would I change this year? No way. When I look back, I have overcome so much. I performed on stage with nothing but coffee in my system, battled through my A-Levels and got into University. Moved away from home, managing to transfer my job. I've met the most AMAZING people who provide me with so much support and love - some of who I am beyond excited to meet next year.
But, the most important part is that 2012 marks the beginning of a new life for me, a life on the road to recovery. I am learning to rediscover myself, learn who I am. And, I am closing the year with the achievement of attaining my goal weight - something I thought impossible. The prospect is also very scary but I just want to be proud for now.

I have goals for 2013, but none of those include major changes on my part. I have to continue what I'm doing now, and slowly but surely I'll get to a stage in which I am happy and content. If anything, my aim is to be kind to myself and 'say yes'. An eating disorder rids you of so many social events and opportunities because food is always there. I don't want to miss out any more, I have to live.
A few events in which I am looking forward to are going to London in March and my first holiday alone with my best friend, to the Costa del sol. I also want to travel and see other people I have met online. 
So, as this year comes to an end I am somewhat conflicted as to how I feel about it. I guess I can just round it off with saying it's been a truly life changing year.




Happy New Year to you all! Make it a good one!
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2 comments

Amy-Louise said...

Even though 2012 was the year you were diagnosed with your ED, it's the year that you've been able to use that discovery to your advantage, to focus on a more fulfilling life alongside recovery. I honestly feel that those who have been through hardships in life really know the feeling of being truly happy when it happens. And I'm so proud of you for managing to achieve that happiness this year. 2012 has been a great year for you, as it's the year that you have begun to overcome a life-changing and debilitating illness. If that isn't something to be proud of, alongside your A-levels, University, and other things, than I don't know what is. 2013 is going to be the year for US! :)

Tanya Beetham said...

I like this post a lot Sam. Here's to a wonderful year. It will be all that we choose it to be x

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