Friday, 10 August 2012

Asking for help

Confiding in someone, is something I find extremely difficult to do. In fact, asking for help full stop, is something I seem to be incapable of doing - and my god, I wish I could!
At the moment, it's almost as if I've come back down to planet earth. All of the trauma and excitement of things moving forward, seems to have vanished and everyone is living their life while I continue to wait for this initial assessment. It's almost like everyone now assumes, that because I've been honest, I'm cured - and if only that were true.
Today, I saw the one person who usually manages to make me feel good, if only for a few hours. I hadn't seen her in a few weeks so should have been over the moon about seeing her, but all I wanted to do, was be alone. Actually, more than anything, I just wanted her to hug me and tell me I'd be fine - and had I have asked her to do that, I know she would have. But, I just couldn't ask. 
Asking for help has to be one of the strongest things anyone could ever do. It's taking a step towards recovery, yet why is it that most of us (myself included) feel incredibly weak if we choose to do so? I asked this person if she confides in people when she should, and she doesn't either. I want her to. I'd want to be one person that could help her! I'd hope that if she needed me in the middle of the night, she'd ring me.. and I'm guessing she wants me to come to her when I need cheering up too. So, it's actually incredibly selfish of me not too? I can't expect her to come to me and then not reciprocate. 
Next time I see her, I'm going to really try and say something. I might even feel better for doing so.

Do you find asking for help easy? Let me know what you think

1 comment

Josie said...

I hate asking for help! It's so hard, but it's silly because if you ask the people who love you will happily help! I hope you manage to talk to your friend when you see her next.
Just had a nose through your old posts and I think you're really brave for talking about what you go through. It's really inspiring, wishing you loads of luck. It's very different but I talk about my lung condition on my blog but it's still personal and I get how it can be difficult to actually publish stuff. I find it helps me though so I really hope it helps you too :) xxx

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