Monday, 2 July 2012

Time for change

Today, I've decided to take my life back. I went to the doctor's this morning to be weighed, and quite frankly, I was shocked into next week. It wasn't the weight itself, it was seeing someone who I care for dearly, look at me with extreme worry and despair. I don't want to put her through this any more :-( I have to gain weight - I won't like it. I won't find it easy but I'm doing it for her.
I also decided that I had to tell my mum, which actually my friend did, because I'm not close to my mum. She shortly left, and my mum and I spent two hours discussing it, crying and negotiating. I'm still terrified of weight gain but forced myself to go out and celebrate the end of 6th form with my best friend, by eating a meal. I ate as much as I could, and feelings of guilt are creeping through, but I know I have to fight those now.
I want my life back and I think the best way of thanking my friend, is recovering. If I don't do this for me, then I'll do it for her.

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