Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Triggering comments

Does anyone else find this? A series of comments, that are usually harmless and meant to be a joke, actually trigger the depression that manages creep back into your life.
Right now, I am so unbelievably busy. I'm not saying I'm the only person who is, but I rarely get a whole day off. And even if I do, I should be doing college work or revision instead of relaxing or doing what I want. My life is an endless cycle of college, work, rehearsals, revision, exercise, college, work - you get the idea.
For the last 2 weeks, I have felt my mood spiralling back into the dark and lonely realms of depression again. I don't really want to do anything, don't want to talk to those I love and care about most, and the self-harming thoughts that I had managed to decrease, are as frequent as before. 
So, when someone comments on my looks or how little work I have to do, I find it very difficult to take lightly now. Every time I've had a bad day (like today!) and attempted a little enthusiasm, I always seem to be knocked down anyway, so I might as well not try!

I just want to hibernate for the next year or 50 because quite frankly, I can't be bothered with life right now.

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