Tuesday, 10 April 2012


Have I had a period of post session reflection?
Of course. How can you ever visit a psychologist and then not think about it afterwards?

What keeps you going? Is it your friend? Have you ever had balance? Do you let anyone care about you? Do you trust anyone? Are you overcompensating? What is attractive to you? You know what, I JUST DON'T KNOW.

Seeing someone for mental health problems is one the hardest things I do. I dread it every time I know my next session is near. I become withdrawn because I know I have to face something I don't want to do it. Why do I do it? I don't want to be like this any more.
But how long am I supposed to keep going? I have been seeing this man for 4 months now, and although I'm much happier, I'm also much thinner. I've come to the conclusion I am a complete mess - you know what, maybe I always will be! I am self reliant for sure but why is that a bad thing? I make other people happy, and I'm happy just making other people smile - so what does it matter if I'm not? One of the reasons I go to these sessions, is to keep someone I care about happy.

I really hate this.

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